Story #4

ANGEL UNAWARE

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Though very few, there are certain things I hold beyond mere belief, as absolute truths in this life.

First, there are angels among us, and we entertain them unaware. Second, I know for certain that I married one. As difficult and unbelievable as that may sound, it is as tangible as it is indisputable for me.

I embrace it because it has given me an amazing life of love to live each day, and to share with an amazing and incredible woman. With her, I discovered the truth, that love at first sight is not some romantic, nonsensical, non-substantive notion, it is so much greater. It is God’s gift of love, sometimes comes in the form of angels, and is most real indeed!  

Questioning how, with so much certainty, one could possibly believe in such things is both reasonable, and very understandable. In the beginning, I questioned it too, as evidenced by the number of times I had to pinch myself before I was sure that it was more than just a perfectly pleasant dream. I can’t adequately describe love at first site, I can only hope to make feeble and failing attempts at listing the symptoms I experienced. It was like momentarily being frozen in a dream like state, with everything moving in slow motion. I remember my breathing stopped, and my heat beat became so strong that I was sure others in the room could hear it, and I was fearful that my chest would not contain it. I instantly lost my breath, and forgetting how to do so, was not sure when or if I would take another. As hard as I tried to not make a fool of myself by starring, I could not stop my head from turning in her direction to confirm that what my eyes were showing me was really there.

It is also entirely reasonable to question the objectivity of my potentially tainted beliefs, in light of the fact that they have been subjected to, and influenced by, the joy and privilege of living with and loving such an amazing person for my entire life. I say my entire life, because at the risk of sounding corny and cliché, my life began when I met her. What I was doing on this earth before that I can’t describe with any great acuity. What I can say for sure, is that what I have come to know, and consider to be living, is what I have been doing since the moment she came into my life.

This kind of truth can be a very difficult concept to grasp, let alone describe, and even more arduous to pen on paper. Despite my faltering attempts to do so here, my belief comes from my very first understandings of the nature of human interaction. From early on, I knew there was someone out there who I was destined to share my life with. I somehow always knew, and pictured in my heart, that the person who I was meant to be with was somewhere in this world, roaming this earth, waiting for me to find her. I imagined her as being an inch shorter than I was, blonde hair, blue eyes, beautiful inside and out, faithful, loving, kind, and the embodiment of all other things that were a measure of the perfect person for me. It turned out that other than being of this world, and my physical description being about an inch off, in the end, I was pretty much spot on. As for how it was possible that I knew this truth my entire life, and a tangible explanation for my knowing, that subject I gave up on long ago. Over time I came to realize that it was something I was not meant to comprehend, it was far, far beyond my ken. So far beyond, that my only alternative was to leave it to God’s good grace and perfect understanding alone. 

What I know for certain is that from the first time I saw her, sitting on the floor of her college dorm room, with an art project sprawled out in front of her, she was the one. Awestruck and stunned, there she was, the embodiment of the dream I had envisioned forever, right there, in front of my eyes. I knew instantly, from that moment on, that she was my life. Even though I somehow knew it, that did not make it any easier to convince any rational person that it was what was meant to be. So, to follow the yearning of my heart, I was left with only one alternative. I would put aside the best of all good and proper conventions, silence my brain, and follow what my heart was telling me to do. I would relentlessly pursue her from that point forward. So much so, the pursuit led to my agreeing to take her entire dorm room out on our official / unofficial first date. Even that took several weeks of convincing until she finally gave in and agreed. Though agonizing, what felt like a long wait for the date to arrive gave way to how inconsequential the delay really was. It meant so little, because this amazing, heavenly, angelic creature of my dreams was going to be there!

As crowed as it was, the first date had moments intimate enough to give rise to a second. Though very soon after meeting, and way too early in our relationship, the second date felt like fate was finally revealing its’ intention. Having her all to myself, and starting to get to know her more, I knew that I could not risk losing this amazing girl of my dreams. So, as our second date ended, I experienced what I can only describe as panic and desperation that came over me to not let her get away. Really, it overcame me, and as crazy as it sounds, in the heat of that moment, I intentionally locked her in my car, and right then and there popped the question. Now, to this day, the fine details associated with this story are somewhat in question. There is some modicum of contention as to whether the child lock doors were on for her protection, or for her containment. From my perspective, we were parked in front of her dorm room building in a rather sketchy neighborhood, and security was certainly a concern. But truth be told, and in full disclosure and admission, I concede that security may have been a secondary motive, serving as a convenient excuse to keep her there for a couple of hours while I begged her to say yes. I don’t recall how many times she tried the door handle, only to find it not functioning, but I do think both versions of the story have a lot of truth to them. Either way, eventually she relented, probably from lack of sleep, secure in the knowledge that she could break it off the following morning. She would, after all, be out of her mind not to do otherwise. This guy, with $10 to his name, no engagement ring, and even fewer prospects, had just technically held her captive, and a strong case for kidnapping could easily be made.  

I had no sound legal or socially legitimate grounds on which to stand, and even less justification to defend my rash actions. Knowing full well that claiming temporary insanity would not help my case, I was left with no other choice. As a person who prided himself in being firmly grounded in logic and fact, cool, calm, and always collected, the only justification I could rationalize for my actions was the simple acknowledgement of how utterly, hopelessly, and madly in love with her I was.

I pensively waited throughout the night for the inevitable, knowing she would certainly be well within her rights to have me arrested for holding her against her will, endangerment, kidnapping, and any number of other offenses. At that point I had lost the ability to give those potential fates the due and careful consideration they deserved. My heart was saying that an even worse fate awaited me at that point. It would be far worse for me for this amazing, woman of my dreams, to do the sensible thing, recognize me for the fool I had been the night before, turn down my ridiculous offer, and never want to speak to me again. The best I could hope for was for her to do me the honor of saving some of my pride and dignity, spare me from a well justified incarceration, and break my heart, by turning me down.

Imagine my shock, surprise, momentary utter disbelief, and immeasurable relief and joy when the next day came and went, and not only was I still a free man, but the engagement was still on! What followed were indescribable days of joyous courtship, filled with some of the most unimaginable, immeasurable, happiest, and most memorable moments of togetherness and bliss one could ever hope to experience. The days flew by, turning ever so quickly into weeks and months. Less than a year later we were married, and an amazing life has ensued ever since. Through the joys and sorrows of births and deaths, gains and losses, jobs and moves, poverty and prosperity, in sickness and in health, I have always had the joy of this faithful angel by my side, holding my hand, living for, and loving me. Forty plus years later, still most happily married, I have been so very blessed by this entertaining angel, sent to this earth to rescue me.

Not to stray too far from its’ purposeful intent, I will bring this story back on its’ rightful course. It is about this incredible, amazing, completely underserved person. She is the embodiment of an artistic soul, as amazing as the pieces of art she creates. Outwardly and inwardly, she is a breathtaking creature of light and shadow, both radiant in, and warmly shaded by the incredible hues and unequaled grace that God has so benevolently and bountifully bestowed upon her. The angelic embodiment of His master craftsmanship, her own creations are the outward eruption of the inner soul and artistry that is God’s gift of inner beauty and talent that He has so lavishly and lovingly placed in her. She is a Godly woman, with a heart for love, truth, justice, and decency. But so much more than the sum of all her wonderful qualities and virtues, far too many to pen here, she is the kind of person who could find it in her heart to love someone so much less deserving, and that makes her everything to me. The completion of my life, she forms me into the best person that I could ever hope or dream of being. She is inspirationally the best part of what life on this earth is for me. What she means to me is a measure far beyond what my mere words now fail to say, or what they can ever hope to adequately describe or do justice to.

Suffice to say, I have been shown the truth, it has been shared with me. God granted it to me in the loan of a most precious, priceless pieces of His perfect, artful creation. He spread it out in front of me, right there on that floor, that fateful night. Formed by His masterful hand, this incredible backdrop for my amazing life and existence. Far less than deserving, I am so very blessed, honored, and ever so grateful to God for sharing His truth with me, this angel among us, my love and my life, my wife.  

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